hello my name is fabulous

http://lookbook.nu/

amazing website my friend told me about tonight! it's people from all over the world who posts their fashionable outfits. i'm definitely gonna make my own profile.

There Is No Spoon

Generally people don't like change, they prefer to stick to routine because it's comfortable. I'm the opposite. I thrive off of change, something that is pushing me. I crave the excitement. Lately I have been feeling too in routine, which I know is mandatory considering it is college that I am putting myself through and there is reward at the end of this endeavor. But I need to feel more purpose and adventure. So I decided to hop back on the acting train that I had been taking a break from for awhile. Last year was exhilarating and very rewarding because I had to jump through lots of hoops, feel my nerves eat away at me as I drove into LA for showcase or audition, and finally landed an agent. For actors being signed by an agent is like finding gold. I felt incredibly proud of myself, but that was short lasted after my relationship with my agent did not go so well. We expected different things from each other than what played out so our partnership was short lived. I respect him and definitely took away much needed knowledge/experience. Now I'm taking a different approach. First auditions then representation. I am just going to go after everything I can get my hands on. We'll see if it goes anywhere, and if not then it will be a hell of a ride.

In other news, I went through a rough patch (aka season as I call it) recently. I felt different from who I am and recognize. I constantly felt sad or angry. I realized I let a series of spiraling unfortunate events get the better of my emotions. A few unfortunate events this past year were a downer, but then came heartbreak in my family and suddenly my start to this year compared to now seemed to be a huge weight that overwhelmed me. I went to the dark place of "why do these bad things happen?". But I had to remind myself that through pain is the only way we can know true joy. Now I feel lighter and gradually happier. Prayer, journaling, friends/fam, and dancing (oddly) have helped a lot. So funny how yesterday I was doing ballet in my kitchen and that to me was like "hold the phone! I'm dancing....I'M BACK!". Dancing= happiness in Jenna's world. ha.

hakuna matata guys.