Light Up The Darkness

WEDNESDAY/LAMENT

Bible verse Psalm 41

Write a psalm of lament... an honest prayer. Simply tell God how you feel.

Heavenly Father, there are moments of pure joy and content,

but I walk in wonder and don't know how to feel. I yearn for your fire and passion. Fire fall down and tower over me. I desire to be desired and have the heart of a young woman designed to be captivating. You fulfill me and give me worth, help me spread love and inspiration to those in the dark. Make me fruitful today and for always. Amen.

On another note, I've become such a fan of Zooey Deschanel especially since seeing her in the movie 500 Days of Summer which was really really good! So clever, funny, and creative. Zooey Deschanel has such a quirky, loveliness about her that is so charming in her movies. She doesn't try to be something she's not, she stays true to herself. She also has a great sense of humor, a wonderful voice, and she's gorgeous. She's now on my list of actresses I look up to.

Silent Sea

TUESDAY/LISTEN

Bible verse Psalm 85

Consider a time when you heard clearly from God. Where were you? Take a picture of the place (or something

that represents that place):

One of the places I can hear God speaking to me most is when I'm taking a shower or bubble bath.

Our days are filled with noise and activity (people talking, radio, internet, TV, cars on the street, etc). So I guess it makes sense that when I'm secluded from the rest of the world I can think clearly and just listen and be quiet in thought. I'm completely open to hearing God tugging on my heart because I'm not distracted. It also kinda feels cleansing-washing away anything that is weighing on me. Seriously, candlelit bubble baths are one of my favorite things to do! I do it any chance I get. I'm gonna be one of those women who likes to take a warm bubble bath, candles lit with enya playing, and drinking a glass of wine on a saturday night when I'm older. ha.

In other news: I have my first commercial audition tomorrow in north hollywood. Should be fun!

Tower Over Me

Going to church last night at Rock Harbor really woke me up. I had been in a dry spell for awhile there, beginning of summer I was on fire but then I think vacation made me too relaxed and sidetracked that I didn't maintain as strong a connection with God. I closed up for awhile, which I think we all tend to do sometimes and even though we hate that it happens.. we're human so it's inevitable. But every time I learn more about how easy it is to come back to being full of the spirit and feel fruitful. I gave God 45 mins to an hour of my time last night and I was flooded with excitement, love, and all the ideas that I had for myself this year that I had somehow forgotten. God reminded me of what I was passionate about, and how I had made Him a part of those passions, and I realized I've been feeling dry because I had lost track of this.

Passions:

- I want to start a girls fellowship group at my school. At first I felt called to start it specifically for freshman girls because I remember being a freshmen and feeling kind of lost, it would have made a huge difference to be a part of a girls group to help lead me. But I'm going to make it open for any girl at Chapman whether she's a freshman or senior. I think it'd be cool to do our meetings at the beach because I personally feel uplifted when I go to the beach- it's beautiful, peaceful, and makes me feel spiritually open. So coffee and the beach sounds good to me :)

- Last year I busted my butt to get somewhere with acting- my goal was to get signed with an agent which I did last spring to my surprise. I almost thought it wouldn't be possible, but once I allowed God to be a part of this passion and I was open to whether it was going to be a part of my life or not, things seemed to fall into place and doors were opening. It's funny how once you don't put as much pressure on yourself, your goals becomes attainable. Now I'm supposed to start going on commercial auditions then hopefully tv and film shortly after. Entertainment is something I love doing, and it's become so pivotal in our world today, that I know if it's a part of God's plan to place me there, wonderful things will come of that.

- I want to experience new things! Go somewhere new every weekend, explore what's out there. And not just keep it local but try to make plans to travel every year. I want to see the world.

- Volunteer somewhere. I want to help others and get involved.

And lastly, I'm following through with this thing called Seek Week that Rock Harbor is having it's members do. So here's for today:

MONDAY/BE THANKFUL

Bible verse Psalm 100

5 things I'm thankful for...

1. My family, I'm thankful that my family is so loving and supportive, I couldn't get along without them.

2. My education, I'm thankful that I have the means to go to a school like Chapman University and get the chance to pursue my passions.

3. My friends, I'm thankful that I have friends who have led me, influenced me for the better, and are so much fun to spend time with.

4. The place I live, California is a fun and exciting place to be, and when I'm living home in Washington I experience beauty and nature everyday.

5. Art. I'm thankful for music and dance, if I didn't dance and sing everyday I don't know how I'd express myself.

Maui Took My Breath Away

My family finally got to take our dream trip to Maui, Hawaii. It was everything I dreamed it would be and more. Maui is amazing- the beaches have white sand and crystal clear water, lots of coral and sealife, tropical flowers cover the ground, the air sticks to your skin leaving the tropical scent embedded on you, the people are all very friendly and laidback, and the feeling that you're thousands of miles away from reality is freeing. Being on the island took my mind off of everything except stopping to smell the roses and watching the sun set every night. It was beautiful. I really want to explore every island in Hawaii, but would also love to go back to Maui someday.

It's funny how traveling to unknown exciting places makes you feel capable of doing things you normally wouldn't consider doing. In our everyday lives we hold back, we're too afraid of the consequences even if there's a chance for something great to come out of taking risks. Lots of people say they try to live by the saying "live life to the fullest", but it's difficult to genuinely do that because we get too attached to our safe havens. Like how God says to not be too attached to our worldly things/possessions- it's as if to really experience the world we can't be attached to it.

Surfboards on the Kaanapali Beach.
Crystal clear water.
Completely buried Lauren in the sand.
Snorkeling.
The colorful bathing suit that got me chased by two GIANT seaturtles.
Tropical drinks by the pool.
Bubba Gumps in Lahaina Town.
Paia (aka hippie town).
Best fish tacos I've ever had.
Luau at the Westin Hotel.
Guri Guri, the frozen treat my mom raved about in her journal when she went to Hawaii when she was 17.
Here's to good seasons in life.

Ohana means family :)

Summer in the Northwest

Some stuff I was up to over the summer:

Hungout with Amy at the park and testing out my longboarding skills.
Roamed around with Elisa in Seattle- Pike Place Market where we saw the gum wall.
Saw the Transformers 2 Premiere and acted ridiculous.
Floated on floaties at the lakehouse.
Sunbathed.
Went swimming with my fam.
Painted my house with my brother.
Got surprised and serenaded.
Got boyfriend.
Turned 20.

Restless

I hate it when I try to go to sleep but I can't because my mind is so full of thoughts.. I was forced to go upstairs and talk to my mom about what's on my mind. We had a good little chat, and I need to just accept that people are who they are and I can't let it frustrate me.

but it did make me happy that my mom is booking our tickets to Hawaii!!
This August- Maui here we come!


goodnight.

Good Start to Summer

Well it's been awhile. I've just been busy enjoying my summer break so far! Being home is so refreshing, I feel calm and relaxed. The first few days I was back home I did what I always do- socialize to the max then feel exhausted a few days later. So a few days here and there I'll lay low and enjoy some time just to myself. It's been a good balance. I've gotten to do things I love but don't have much time for while in school like reading for pleasure. I started reading the book Love the One You're With by Emily Griffin. It intrigued me. I've gotten to watch some old movies I've never seen before like Flash Dance haha. And I've done a lot of just cruising around with the windows down and listening to some awesome music. I absolutely love to just drive. Oh and a new hobby I'm pursuing is learning to play the guitar. I'm using my mom's guitar she played during the 70's! I've always get so excited when I start learning something new and there's something sentimental about it because I'm playing the guitar my mom played when she was my age. It makes me feel closer to her. So I thought my summer was going to be full of me doing nothing, but turns out a lot of opportunities have come up! I'm still going to California July 5th or 6th with my mom to get stuff set up in my new house there, but I don't think I'm going to stay in California for the summer, especially if I can't get job. Which kinda sucks that I won't be doing much acting stuff this summer but I live in California year round so I'm going to enjoy my summer. But now... my family has decided we want to do a family trip to HAWAII!!! I love how spontaneous and adventurous my family can be! Each kid is paying for our plane ticket, and have to have some spending money for when we're there. My brother and I are gonna paint our whole house to earn money instead of my mom hiring someone else. So that's pretty tight. Then I'm roadtripping with my sister to Michigan near the end of August cause she's moving there for law school. I've been to both coasts plenty of times but never really the midwest so this trip will be full of new things to experience- like Mount Rushmore haha.

A revelation I had recently is that a dream is a beautiful thing, but it shouldn't consumer your life. A few years ago my dream to succeed with acting consumed my thoughts and I didn't want to let God in to be a part of it, because I didn't want to give Him the chance to say yes or no. But these past two years I've developed a stronger more intimate relationship with God that I'm very happy with. As things with acting have started falling into place I've continued to pray and be completely ok with the door being closed at anytime. And I can't focus all my energy on this dream because there are things in my life I care about more like my family, friends, relationships, etc. So I'm taking opportunities that come my way that don't necessarily involve acting being my first priority. And also, I've realized I shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed to tell people that I've been pursuing acting because I fear they will see me as some fame seeking teenager. Which is completely not me. I don't desire the lifestyle of a celebrity, all that comes with being in the entertainment industry. I desire to pursue a passion that is a part of me.. just like everyone else. And I think people forget to realize people are called to different industries... a calling is not always to have a career in ministry, or be a missionary, or join the peace core. People are called to be teachers who give children hope and dreams for their futures, doctors who save lives, business men and women who help people attain items and services they need for their daily lifestyles. Each industry needs believers/disciples to inspire and guide people. The entertainment industry and celebrities are one of the biggest influences in our society today, those people have a voice that is heard by millions. They set an example, but an example that isn't usually a good one. Most have broken,lonely lives full of material things that are not fulfilling. Who would want that? Not me. I want to believe in God's ability to bring light to the darkest places. If someone is put in a position to have a voice as powerful as a celebrity and speaks words of truth from God, think of how many people would be exposed to the word. And not necessarily always having to use words, but purely actions of that person who is in the spotlight and constantly challenged to not falter, would speak to millions. That's what I'm pursuing. Films have always influenced how I view the world and allowed me to relate to stories that mirror what I've gone through in my own life. Characters on screen inspire me. But I'm completely satisfied if a career in acting is not what I meant to do, I'm majoring in business (possibly emphasis on marketing) and minoring in film. I think if I continue on this route with my degree I'd want to work for some production company such as Warner Brothers or Paramount. Be involved in the business side of films, not so much the technical. I'm excited about all different kinds of avenues that might await me. I'm excited for my future whatever it may be, because I know I'll be happy and blessed.

Wow I wrote A LOT. It's one of those topics that makes it hard to get all your thoughts on the page.