Too Much On The Brain

Man I still don't know what I'm going to do this summer. There's a bunch of factors that I'm waiting on to determine if I'll be in California all of summer or only part of summer...

1. Housing: if my roomates and I have a place by the end of May, when school gets out, then it's all good, but if not.. then the question of where I'd stay comes into play..

2. Part time job: if I'll be able to get a job to pay for food and gas. If I don't have a place in Orange by my school, then I would maybe stay with my friend in Redondo Beach so I'd have to know kinda soon where I'd be staying in order to lock down a summer job in the right area.

3. I want to see my family: Being out of state already means I don't see my family that often. I'm so close with my family that it's hard to not see them on a daily basis already, but it would be even harder for me to not even get to see them during the time I usually get to... and I feel like I get refreshed going back to Washington. It's good for my soul in a way.

4. How many auditions I'd be going on this summer: if there's a lot of auditions then it would make sense for me to be in California. But if there's only a few here and there then it would make more sense to spend the summer in Washington.

I'm hoping I'll get more clarity soon.

Cardboard Testimonies

This past Easter Sunday I went to church, Bethany Baptist, with my family and got to see the best service (in my opinion) our church has ever had! Our pastor passed out these cardboard testimony response cards to everyone in church.. on the front it says "What I was before Christ" then on the back it says "What I am now in Christ". He asked us to write our own response, just a word or sentence that answered the question. But then he said some of us from church wanted to share their testimonies. First, our pastor held up his sign, then one or two other people at a time would walk to the front of the stage and hold up their signs, then flip it to the other side. So many people came out to hold up their signs, it was beautiful to see how willing people were to open up and what had happened to people in my church that I see all the time but don't know anything about. The fifth person to walk out onto the stage was a middle aged woman. She held up her sign- on the front (what I was before Christ) said "daughter committed suicide" then she flipped it over and it said "found the comfort and healing of Jesus Christ" (what I am now in Christ). I started balling my eyes out of course, but I realized everyone else in church was crying too. There were so many people- lonely, falsely taught, miscarriage, broken relationships, deaths, lost and confused. All of them healed and renewed by Christ. It was inspiring! The coolest thing is that this wasn't some epic scene in a movie...this is real, and right in front of us. This is what makes me have a passion for people, the stories they have to tell. Getting to know people and what's in their hearts.

I think in church it's important to have some services like this every once in awhile. When people can connect and relate with each other it brings the entire church much closer.

Meet Me At Dusk

Tonight I decided to go for a walk because from time to time I have a lot on my mind and need to just get out and give my thoughts to God. I've noticed more that I have to separate myself from all distractions to fully seek God and notice his presence. I left my dorm room, turned off my phone, and just strolled the streets of Orange at dusk. Usually I never go for a walk by myself around night time because I feel so vulnerable. But tonight I went walking and felt at ease because I could feel God's presence as if He was walking beside me. Also, I was walking and just felt like I didn't have to fear anything, I'm being watched over. So that was the first big step for me. Secondly, I was walking and just letting everything on my mind go and I started feeling that it all didn't matter... school, I worry so much about school sometimes but really in the end I'm going to end up doing what I'm meant to do with my life. Years ago I had no idea that I would be at Chapman University, but I am now and it's all okay. Right now I have no idea where I'll be, what I'll be doing, and who I'll be with in 3 years but I know I'll be okay. No matter what happens I'll be okay. And thirdly, I know that I want something special, something grand for my life. Happiness and purpose. I'm confident that God will give me that. After my walk, I sat at this fountain on my campus for awhile, prayed and just relaxed. It was an amazing night. Plus, I came back to my dorm in time to rock out to disney music with Brittany!

Life is Short

A boy from my school died last night. His name was Bryce Turner. I didn't know him and had never seen him before, but still I feel a pain to know someone so young died so suddenly. He was playing soccer with some friends on the field last night then suddenly collapsed and actually died there on the field. To think that his parents had to receive a call to let them know their son had died without any warning that something was wrong... I could only think to pray for that family to have comfort during this time. When something like this happens I can't help but think life is short. Don't take it for granted or risk the chance of having it not mean anything. I want to make my life worth living and worth remembering.

Heavenly Father protect us, guide us, and cherish us.

Sex and the City

I can't get enough of "sex and the city". I never get tired of it: the fashion, the girls, the city, the energy, etc. The girls wear such eye catching outfits that are so beautiful and unique to who they are. And you can tell that it's not just their fashion that is powerful and bold, but they themselves as women are. Plus, they're hilarious.

Our bodies are special, unique, and beautiful. Why not decorate them with something that makes those features stand out? I know how you dress can be the last thing on your mind sometimes, I have my days when I don't care what I look like.. just want to be comfy. But most of the time I like to appreciate the body I was given by putting on something pretty :)

Buds Start To Bloom

WHAT A DAY I HAD!

So I've been pursuing acting for a yr and a half now, since my freshmen yr of college. And flowers are starting to bloom. Last semester I did a showcase in LA for agents and managers to see talent, then I auditioned for one of the agents that was interested in me, then I took an acting class, and today I went back to meet with that same agent. On the way to Santa Monica, I was on the freeway.. blasting music, singing passionately, then out of nowhere I see a tire flying towards me!! I didn't have time to react at all.. my car ran over it, which must've been hard on my car, then I looked in my rearview mirror and the tire hit the front of the car behind me and shattered that person's windshield. I was mortified. But I just took deep breaths... calmed myself down. And reached my destination safely. Thank the Lord.

So I get to the agency early... the assistant tells me I could go chill at a coffee bean around the corner. I got an iced tea, chilled, then drove back over. I was given a commercial copy, 10-15 mins to kinda read through it, then went in to see the agent. It's intimidating going in at first because he doesn't say a word to me before I start.. he just wants me to go, and I want to chat a bit cause I'm nervous. haha. So I read through it a few times, he tells me certain adjustments to make. The last time was a good read through, he liked it. So all was well. Then we got to talking about what's next for me and what to expect. He decided to represent me! We talked more about what the future will look like, it was such a great talk, I'm very excited and hopeful. It was so surreal to be signing the contracts. Like a weight was being lifted. I did it, and all on my own.. well not completely on my own. God has a part in every step we take. Part of me was doubtful that I'd ever get this far even, but I did and it's such a blessing. I hope God will guide me in this adventure and reassure me that this is right for me to see where this could lead.

The only thing that was a downer is that I'll have to spend most of the summer in California, which is kinda disappointing because I want to be with my family and see friends. But I'm sure it'll be just fine, I'll have my own place by then, family and friends can come stay with me if they want, and I can stay part of the time with a friend who lives near LA. Oh and I really need to figure out a way to pay for some necessities like new headshots, an acting class for film/tv auditions... I'm hoping to get a part time job here soon. Or maybe I'll be able to figure out another way in the mean time. Hopefully that works out.

Study Abroad

I really want to study abroad the summer before my senior year of college and I've already started thinking of places I'd like to go...

AUSTRALIA

The land down under. I'm so intrigued by Australia because it's such a mystery to me. I feel like Australia is unlike any other place in the world. I want to experience the beautiful city, the great barrier reef, and the outback.

GREECE

I really want to go to Greece, it's always been a dream of mine. To be in a place with that much history and be in the setting of all the mythical stories I read about in school. And I want to go

to all the gorgeous little islands with the bluest water.

PRAGUE

One of the grandest looking cities in the world. I think of fairytale books when I think of Prague, and the magic it holds. My sister and I have fantasied about going to Prague for quite some time, I think ever since watching "Chasing Liberty".

IRELAND

I know I'll go to Ireland someday partly because I'm half Irish, so it would be fun to see where part of my family comes from. The land of plush green, gorgeous castles, and pubs. And the Irish culture seems so fun!