Infinite

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life." - (500) Days of Summer

This I find to be true. But I also find it to be true that a moment, an experience, a day can be significant enough to change your life. Make a lasting impression that you will never forget. I think each of us craves this all the time, which is why we crave adventure, risk, something new. Being in La Push this Saturday was a moment that changed me, just in the slightest way. Crossing the water, climbing the rock and looking around the bend at one of the most beautiful sights. I was afraid to take the risk, but the things you're afraid of are usually the most worthwhile. It was one of those moments where you feel time stops and nothing can bring you down from this high. And to be standing there with two friends made the moment even more special because I got to share it with someone. I hope I have many lasting memories ahead of me, good or bad, I know it'll shape who I become. And I'm excited for that.

What Good Are Words

Wow.. I forgot for awhile there that I have a blog. I find it kinda funny that I have a blog because aren't they supposed to be the insight to your personal thoughts? And that's actually not a talent of mine. I am never able to quite articulate what exactly I want to say so usually what comes out is some jumbled version of what I want to say, what I think I'm supposed to say, or just what is easiest to say. Sometimes useful, but mostly frustrating cause it usually creeps up on me and bites me in the butt. I guess the best way to really know what someone is feeling or thinking is to look at their actions, I do believe actions speak louder than words, but words do help. It's like how people say 90% of what you're saying isn't coming out of your mouth.

Today I went to Starbucks to journal and reflect as the New Year is beginning, and it was wonderful. I sat by the fireplace and journaled like crazy. Then did my devotionals while listening to the new moon soundtrack and watching the rain fall outside the window. I had a great year last year, but there's some definite changes for the better that should be considered or made. When I compare this January to last year's January it feels like I'm much more antsy. For some reason I feel some kind of urgency or rush to find something or feel something. See once again hard for me to explain. I hope I can enjoy what comes my way this month and just let everything go.

One of my friends mentioned this whole thing of developing 6 new hobbies. You focus on one hobby for 2 months. So my first new hobby I want to develop/focus on for the month of January and February is painting. I've dabbled in it, but haven't totally thrown myself into it. I'd like to see what I can really do and I feel like now is a good time to explore expressing through a different form of art. I'm passionate about art so this should be a fun new avenue of that passion.

Well goodnight and sweet dreams.

Dad Does Boy Talk

So I used to never talk to my dad about "boy stuff" until my freshmen year of college and ever since that door was opened he continually asks about my love life. It still feels slightly odd to talk about boys with him because growing up we never did that. But it's fun having a dad's input. My dad finds it so odd that nowadays guys aren't asking girls out on actual dates. I told him how today its either people going to parties and just hooking up or relationships develop out of hanging out in groups or developing some kind of friendship then getting into a relationship. At least at our age, I think after college people tend to go out on dates more. He gets it but still thinks it's odd cause he remembers a time when a guy would go after a girl with clear intentions. No dilly dallying. Ha. I have mixed feelings about the dating world, part of me doesn't like the idea because of the inevitable awkward situations, but then again it would make mixed signals disappear. With friendships/acquaintances there's this whole "game" of what do certain signals mean, hidden messages, and uncertainty. The whole "He's Just Not That Into You" scenario. Gosh freshmen year of college I was asked out left and right and would always be so picky and not really give guys a chance, then when I did agree to a date I was inexperienced and naive leading to me getting in way over my head. But you definitely learn.

My dad is so funny. When I'm with someone he's very critical and protective but when I'm not with somebody he tries to encourage me to give guys a shot by being open to going on dates or setting me up with guys and planning my next relationship for me. haha. And he tells me what kinda guy he thinks I need to be with. He believes you should be with someone who appreciates your interests/passions but has different passions than you. That you shouldn't go for someone in the same "pool" as you. So is the statement that opposites attract true? I don't know if it stands true when considering extremes, but now I'm starting to see the truth in it. In my dad's opinion he would put me with a "guy's guy" who's very smart, witty, and a high powered business man or doctor. I'm not necessarily looking for that exact fit, because that would be a stretch from what I lean towards- the passionate, artsy, funny, and sensitive type. It's important to have similarities in interests and personality traits, but there needs to be a balance of opposite interests/personality traits so that those two people compliment each other.

Well done daddy with the "boy talk".

All The World's A Stage, And All The Men And Women Merely Players

I wish life could be a musical where if you're feeling overwhelmed with thoughts or emotions you could burst out into song and dance as if it's completely normal. Sometimes when I'm walking to class I have to stop myself from singing out loud to the song on my ipod or from saying the inner monologue of thoughts going on inside my head out loud. I'm the kind of person who bottles up the majority of what I'm feeling so at times it'll catch up with me and I'll feel a bit overwhelmed. And at those times it's hard to express everything I'm feeling when someone asks me how I'm feeling, I can see how the characters in musicals find a release through putting their words into song. It seems easier than just explaining your feelings in conversation. Plus it's just more fun.

You Would Not Believe Your Eyes

Space is breathtaking. My second choice of career, if I could have any career I wanted, it would be to study space.

Gumption, tons of it

For those of us who are in our 20's this time in our lives is crucial, exhausting, exciting, and can determine our futures. And not only can it determine what we'll do with our lives, but it is when we discover who we truly are. I've discovered a lot about myself over the past two years from little things to the big things. I am proud of the woman I am and have yet to become. Part of our lives right now is having fun, experiencing things, relationships, finding our passions and going after them, and the other part is learning to take care of ourselves, preparing for the start of our careers, and discovering who we want to spend our lives with. It's all quite overwhelming, but mostly in a good way. This wednesday in my film class two of the writers from the show The Simpsons came to speak to our class. It was amazing seeing all they had done and hearing about how they thought it'd be impossible to go into the field they thought was so unattainable. Basically what they were telling us is to get out there and get whatever experience you can, life experience is valuable for any pathway you end up taking, and you never know what you can accomplish till you say what the hell and leap for it! I have people constantly asking me "what are you going to do with your life?", "what career?", "are you worried about being successful?" and much more, but you know, no one has the answers and knows exactly where they'll end up. Dreams and goals are so important to have, but a dream can lead to another dream then to another. So i'll just keep dreaming, chasing, and see where I end up. I have faith that I'm being watched over and will end up exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Life, it's ever so strange
It's so full of change
Think that you've worked it out
Then BANG
Right out of the blue
Something happens to you
To throw you off course
And then you

Breakdown
Yeah you breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
Sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared
Don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
But don't forget it's just a ride

Truth, we don't wanna hear
It's too much to take
Don't like to feel out of control
So we make our plans
Ten times a day
And when they don't go
Our way we

Breakdown
Yeah we breakdown
Well don't you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up
Sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared
Don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
But don't forget it's just a ride

Slowly, oh so very slowly
Accept that
There's no getting off
So live it, just gotta go with it
Coz this ride's, never gonna stop

-Jem

Undress My Mind