Lights Will Guide You Home

I've been thinking about where I'm going to end up after graduation lately. Considering its my junior year, it's getting closer. I came to California for college for a few different reasons- simply to live somewhere new, to revisit somewhere I loved growing up, to pursue acting while in college, and if I decided I wanted to work in film this would be the place to make connections. I've loved living in Orange while going to college it's such an amazing little nook with endless charm and Chapman is a beautiful school with great classes and funny professors. I've been pursuing acting since I got here and I've actually managed to make my way a bit by running around town, getting headshots, doing showcases, lunches with agents, etc. Now I have an agent that I like and am starting to do auditions which is fun, but not my life. As far as considering a career in film, I'm minoring in film studies so I'm constantly learning more and more about film and next summer I hope to intern at some film production company such as Paramount or Warners Bros. If not that, then maybe some marketing company or fashion magazine in LA. Ha... or even Disney Corporate.

I've kinda always thought that if I don't go into something relating to film then I'd go back to Washington after college. Because every other career path is available there and my family is there. But also because I've grown to love it there, I always used to think that I was a California girl at heart because I missed living here, but somewhere along the way I was converted to a Northwest girl. I love the smell of rain, the seasons, the culture, the people, the nature. Although palm trees, sunshine, sand, Disneyland and fancy LA spots are fun, it doesn't quite compare. But I could see myself happy either in CA or WA. I guess we'll see what happens, what God has in store. Oh but then there's also this other part of me that would love to move around while I'm young- live in NYC, Hawaii, abroad even. But that doesn't seem realistic unless it comes with a job opportunity, so my adventurous urges will have to be left for vacations.

I belong in the wild... (pictures from our trip to Forks, WA last Winter Break haha).

Into the light of the dark black night

My favorite parts of October...

Waking up to morning fog.

Apple Cider.

Huge scarves.

Pumpkins.

Fall leaves. When you walk around they crunch under your feet.
Halloween- trick or treaters, haunted houses, scary movies, candy, cobwebs, costumes
Disneyland at Halloween time. The haunted mansion, and now ghost galaxy at space mountain.
So I've started this thing were I put up sticky notes on my wall with quotes that I like or that are inspirational in a way. These are the ones I have up so far:

"Always do what you're afraid to do" -Ralph Waldo Emerson

" A day without laughter is a day wasted" -Charlie Chaplin

" What are men to rocks and mountains" -Jane Austen

" For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline" - 2 Timothy 1:7

Any suggestions??

"Something always brings me back to you, and it never takes too long"

I was having a flash back today of my spring semester freshmen year when I was in search of the right church. I had been slightly avoiding it because oddly for some reason going to new church completely alone is frightening. Nervously I walked into an old church (wooden benches, high ceilings, stained windows) in la habra wearing a strapless flowing summer dress. I had dressed up for the occasion hoping it would give me more confidence going in as I took a seat by myself near the front. Still feeling lost I started to sing the words to the first worship song. There was no one around that I knew, I didn't feel self conscious, and slowly I just let go and was completely myself. I wept. It was a beautiful experience. I felt completely free from the eyes of others but never more clearly seen by the eyes of God.

I go to Rock Harbor church regularly since last year, and I love it there. It's the opposite of the church I was just talking about. But it's more of what captivates me-it's lively, colorful, and creative. But intimate at the same time. I really want to get more involved at Rock Harbor. Take on some kind of position there.

Shake the Glitter Off Your Clothes

I had to put this picture up first because she's oh so stylish and holding a starbucks. That's my girl.

Sex and the City fashion. Love it.





Gossip Girl fashion.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, my first fashionista love. I have always loved how they dress.

Oldies But Goodies

One of my favorite devotionals I ever did:

A week ago I was doing a daily devotional and the reading for the day was Revelations 10-14. Out of what I read, verse 10 spoke to me the most: “They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” Sometimes when I do devotionals I feel such a strong sense of understanding from what I just read, but have a hard time putting it into words right away. I’ve been thinking about it more and I realize I strongly connect with this verse because it’s what’s on my heart right now. I heard the phrase recently, “In the end, the only thing you ever own is your story. I’m just trying to make mine a good one” –Australia. It makes you analyze your life so far, what you have to tell, and what

you want for your future. I’ve had my fair share of significant experiences, good and bad… and I’m thankful for what story I’ve developed so far because it’s allowed me to connect with more people who have their own stories to share. Those who don’t have a story or a testimony to share aren’t as available to be used for God’s good. By telling your story, you can affect someone else’s story. By sharing your life, you can change a life.
The second line in that verse, “they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death”, makes me think of one of my favorite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “always do what you are afraid to do”. Usually the things we fear the most have the biggest reward and when you hold on to your way of life too much and try to protect it and keep it safe by all means, the real meaning and value is lost. It scares me to think that I could end up the same as another person… have the same life. It would make me question “why am I here if I’m the same as that other girl?”. There is a unique purpose

for each individual and you’ll never discover yours unless you let go and go find it.
I do not want to love my life so much as to shrink from doing what I believe is right, going to places unknown to me, asking for forgiveness, saying how much I care, and other risks. If there is a chance of getting hurt or disappointed, there is also a chance of reward, joy, and appreciation. Either way, you just have another piece of your story/testimony to add. “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” Romans 5:3-4.
This life isn’t forever, it’s too short to not say what you mean to say and do what you’ve dreamed of doing. I want to do wonders, witness miracles, see the world, love and be loved…leave a footprint in the sand. I hope you do too.

A poem I wrote awhile back...

Ever Thine

Morning light and bird songs
Sparkling curls across your arm
Sand between our toes and only sweet sounds
Rushing and racing, laughing and chasing
Carry me away
For I am ever thine

Full of color then bare
Quiet and still
A gust of pumpkin spice and the chills
Studying the lines of your face by candlelight
A graze of my cheek, a touch of your lips
To be held safe under blankets of warmth
I whisper ever thine

From the rooftops there was white snow
Breathtakingly pure
Colored lights on gingerbread houses
Beautiful Christmas melodies
Sleigh bells ring, the love that mistletoe brings
Celebrating our King of Kings

My love, I am ever thine

Rose buds bloom and rainstorms loom
The promise of a rainbow
Daydreaming in fields filled with Sarayu
This heart is ever true
Ever thine

Ever mine

Ever ours

Men Done Right

GQ Magazine really knows how to photograph men- it's all about facial stubble.

"A Day Without Laughter Is A Day Wasted"

Charlie Chaplin is officially one of the funniest people I have ever seen on screen. I watched his film "The Immigrant" and "The Kid" (both you can watch on youtube) in my film history class recently. His understanding of how to use his body and facial expressions for comedic affect are unreal. Such clever gags. He's one of the very few people in history that you can just put a camera in front of and not have to do anything else, just let them do what they do and you will be mesmerized.