Mad World

It's that time again... the time of feeling like I'm drifting in between two worlds. The world of college is ending and the world of reality is on the horizon. The unknown is always a bit scary, but I'm going to take what I'm handed and run with it because the unknown can also mean limitless opportunity. I look at life as a story, and going through challenging parts create a better story. I'm excited for my first crappy apartment, lowly yet highly demanding job, and heart wrenching first love; but that's just me. I know all these things are matter-of-fact, and there are certain things that I will have to make happen. A continuous effort to make every day count. My goal: I want to live a life exaggerated and worth looking at. I hope I can remind myself to live creatively, love endlessly, give generously and explore vigorously. There are endless amounts of goals I have for myself, it would be just absurd if I accomplished it all. But I can embrace absurdity. That's a word right? ha.

Sometimes a girl needs to feel like she has a new start, and sometimes that new start can be achieved by new hair :)

we will see if your insanity can be cured

Ugh.... finals week. It comes around twice a year and makes people face insanity. My recommendations for finals week is COFFEE (lots of it), christmas songs, and harry potter movies. That should do the trick to get you through. I can't believe after next week I will officially be a senior in college!

This is how I feel right now: "Is this real life? I can't see anything.... a;adlajsaf;kdsjflsdkf"

haha.

Summer Lovin.

Summer is within my grasp! And I'm excited to say I will be spending it back home. Before the plan was to do an internship in LA over the summer, but many factors made me decide to wait till the coming Fall or next Spring to do the internship instead. This summer I want to have lots of fun with friends including many adventures, spend time with my family (especially my grandma who is battling breast cancer, prayers would be appreciated), get a part time job (starbucks would be my dream), and get into the best shape I can. Coming home this summer means I'm going to need my car, so I think Taylor is going to fly down and drive back up with me. Something that I am very excited for at the end of this summer is my 21st birthday. Not just because that means I can legally drink, but mostly because I can legally go into any place I want. That's very exciting! Being 20 has been wonderful and now I'm extremely ready to be 21. I have a feeling this summer will bring much anticipated and needed joy, release, and freedom.

It would be hard to top my last summer but here's to hoping!

hello my name is fabulous

http://lookbook.nu/

amazing website my friend told me about tonight! it's people from all over the world who posts their fashionable outfits. i'm definitely gonna make my own profile.

There Is No Spoon

Generally people don't like change, they prefer to stick to routine because it's comfortable. I'm the opposite. I thrive off of change, something that is pushing me. I crave the excitement. Lately I have been feeling too in routine, which I know is mandatory considering it is college that I am putting myself through and there is reward at the end of this endeavor. But I need to feel more purpose and adventure. So I decided to hop back on the acting train that I had been taking a break from for awhile. Last year was exhilarating and very rewarding because I had to jump through lots of hoops, feel my nerves eat away at me as I drove into LA for showcase or audition, and finally landed an agent. For actors being signed by an agent is like finding gold. I felt incredibly proud of myself, but that was short lasted after my relationship with my agent did not go so well. We expected different things from each other than what played out so our partnership was short lived. I respect him and definitely took away much needed knowledge/experience. Now I'm taking a different approach. First auditions then representation. I am just going to go after everything I can get my hands on. We'll see if it goes anywhere, and if not then it will be a hell of a ride.

In other news, I went through a rough patch (aka season as I call it) recently. I felt different from who I am and recognize. I constantly felt sad or angry. I realized I let a series of spiraling unfortunate events get the better of my emotions. A few unfortunate events this past year were a downer, but then came heartbreak in my family and suddenly my start to this year compared to now seemed to be a huge weight that overwhelmed me. I went to the dark place of "why do these bad things happen?". But I had to remind myself that through pain is the only way we can know true joy. Now I feel lighter and gradually happier. Prayer, journaling, friends/fam, and dancing (oddly) have helped a lot. So funny how yesterday I was doing ballet in my kitchen and that to me was like "hold the phone! I'm dancing....I'M BACK!". Dancing= happiness in Jenna's world. ha.

hakuna matata guys.