Restless

I hate it when I try to go to sleep but I can't because my mind is so full of thoughts.. I was forced to go upstairs and talk to my mom about what's on my mind. We had a good little chat, and I need to just accept that people are who they are and I can't let it frustrate me.

but it did make me happy that my mom is booking our tickets to Hawaii!!
This August- Maui here we come!


goodnight.

Good Start to Summer

Well it's been awhile. I've just been busy enjoying my summer break so far! Being home is so refreshing, I feel calm and relaxed. The first few days I was back home I did what I always do- socialize to the max then feel exhausted a few days later. So a few days here and there I'll lay low and enjoy some time just to myself. It's been a good balance. I've gotten to do things I love but don't have much time for while in school like reading for pleasure. I started reading the book Love the One You're With by Emily Griffin. It intrigued me. I've gotten to watch some old movies I've never seen before like Flash Dance haha. And I've done a lot of just cruising around with the windows down and listening to some awesome music. I absolutely love to just drive. Oh and a new hobby I'm pursuing is learning to play the guitar. I'm using my mom's guitar she played during the 70's! I've always get so excited when I start learning something new and there's something sentimental about it because I'm playing the guitar my mom played when she was my age. It makes me feel closer to her. So I thought my summer was going to be full of me doing nothing, but turns out a lot of opportunities have come up! I'm still going to California July 5th or 6th with my mom to get stuff set up in my new house there, but I don't think I'm going to stay in California for the summer, especially if I can't get job. Which kinda sucks that I won't be doing much acting stuff this summer but I live in California year round so I'm going to enjoy my summer. But now... my family has decided we want to do a family trip to HAWAII!!! I love how spontaneous and adventurous my family can be! Each kid is paying for our plane ticket, and have to have some spending money for when we're there. My brother and I are gonna paint our whole house to earn money instead of my mom hiring someone else. So that's pretty tight. Then I'm roadtripping with my sister to Michigan near the end of August cause she's moving there for law school. I've been to both coasts plenty of times but never really the midwest so this trip will be full of new things to experience- like Mount Rushmore haha.

A revelation I had recently is that a dream is a beautiful thing, but it shouldn't consumer your life. A few years ago my dream to succeed with acting consumed my thoughts and I didn't want to let God in to be a part of it, because I didn't want to give Him the chance to say yes or no. But these past two years I've developed a stronger more intimate relationship with God that I'm very happy with. As things with acting have started falling into place I've continued to pray and be completely ok with the door being closed at anytime. And I can't focus all my energy on this dream because there are things in my life I care about more like my family, friends, relationships, etc. So I'm taking opportunities that come my way that don't necessarily involve acting being my first priority. And also, I've realized I shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed to tell people that I've been pursuing acting because I fear they will see me as some fame seeking teenager. Which is completely not me. I don't desire the lifestyle of a celebrity, all that comes with being in the entertainment industry. I desire to pursue a passion that is a part of me.. just like everyone else. And I think people forget to realize people are called to different industries... a calling is not always to have a career in ministry, or be a missionary, or join the peace core. People are called to be teachers who give children hope and dreams for their futures, doctors who save lives, business men and women who help people attain items and services they need for their daily lifestyles. Each industry needs believers/disciples to inspire and guide people. The entertainment industry and celebrities are one of the biggest influences in our society today, those people have a voice that is heard by millions. They set an example, but an example that isn't usually a good one. Most have broken,lonely lives full of material things that are not fulfilling. Who would want that? Not me. I want to believe in God's ability to bring light to the darkest places. If someone is put in a position to have a voice as powerful as a celebrity and speaks words of truth from God, think of how many people would be exposed to the word. And not necessarily always having to use words, but purely actions of that person who is in the spotlight and constantly challenged to not falter, would speak to millions. That's what I'm pursuing. Films have always influenced how I view the world and allowed me to relate to stories that mirror what I've gone through in my own life. Characters on screen inspire me. But I'm completely satisfied if a career in acting is not what I meant to do, I'm majoring in business (possibly emphasis on marketing) and minoring in film. I think if I continue on this route with my degree I'd want to work for some production company such as Warner Brothers or Paramount. Be involved in the business side of films, not so much the technical. I'm excited about all different kinds of avenues that might await me. I'm excited for my future whatever it may be, because I know I'll be happy and blessed.

Wow I wrote A LOT. It's one of those topics that makes it hard to get all your thoughts on the page.

Dream Log

So I've officially started keeping a "dream log", so I can write down the dreams I have- my mom suggested it. haha.

did you know that people remember their dreams because they wake up sometime during their deepest level of sleep. Everyone dreams, but most people don't remember them because they don't wake up at all during the night. Well I always wake up at some point during the night then always go right back to sleep, but that's why I usually can remember my dreams. weird. my roomate brittany told me all this... she always knows those random scientific facts.

"Live long and prosper"

So a few updates:

1. I went to Venice Beach for the first time today. It's even more of a hippie town than I thought it would be. I saw actual hippies. It was such a fun and funky town, I loved it. Then leslie and I went to the Grove in West Hollywood, which is this adorable shopping center, very upper scale, it's gorgeous. We ate dinner at a little cafe then saw Star Trek which leads to my next update...

2. Star Trek was amazing. Absolutely consuming, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. The cast was perfect, the cinematography and special effects were mind blowing! And plus I just loved the story line. I'm officially a star trek fan. And became even more of a fan of Chris Pine.

3. I have a job interview this Saturday for this summer camp in Orange County where kids shoot, star, and direct their own short films. My job would be to help give them acting techniques and how to shoot their films. I have a lot of experience in acting and quite a bit of knowledge of filming now, so my resume was pretty good.. I'm just sayin. I think this job would be perfect because it's purely for the summer, it's part-time, I think it starts in July, and I'd have a fun time doing the job. We'll see how it goes. I really need a job for July and August while I'm in California.

4. This week is my last week of classes!! then finals week.. not fun. but summer is SO close I absolutely can't wait!

Just Peachy

Some of what I want to do this summer:

In Washington...

1. Weekend camping trip or road trip

2. A day of absolutely nothing but movie marathon

3. Read the whole series of narnia books

4. Dance party

5. Sit in the rain

6. LOTS of mario kart/battle

7. Do devotionals at least every other day

8. Stargaze on the roof

9. Watch the Godfather movies

10. Scrapbook

11. Go slip n sliding

12. Drink sun tea on my balcony with my mom and talk about boys

13. Catch up with friends and just hangout

14. Do something new everyday

15. Play ultimate frisbee or capture the flag

In California...

1. Beach bonfires

2. Go surfing

3. Do devotionals at least every other day

4. Go to a movie premiere in Hollywood

5. Part time job

6. Acting class in LA

7. Go to every beach possible... find cool spots

8. Go to the Ellen Degeneres show

9. Get connected with a life group at Newport Church

10. Try to get into the Standard Hotel's rooftop lounge

11. Decorate my new house

12. Hike the Hollywood hills trail

13. Do yoga and meditate

14. Go in every antique shop in Orange

Summer Just Around The Corner

So I think I've figured out my summer plans. I have finals May 18th-22nd. So I'm planning on flying home May 23rd, then flying back to California July 5th. I just told my agent today my plan, so we'll see what he thinks. My headshots are in the process of getting all set up. I already shot them a few weeks ago, it was so fun!! My photographer Greg Crowder was wonderful to work with, he gave great direction, had me do tons of different outfits/ hair styles, and he shot on location. I loved going to different locations in LA, gave the headshots more of a kick and personality to them. Although it was sort of sad at one point we were shooting at this park.. and there was a homeless man curled up in his sleeping bag right there on the ground next to us.

I'm looking for a part time job to have to come back to when I'm back in California for July and August. The two jobs on campus that I applied for fell through, so now it's either working for my dad's cousin's company, the movie theater (which I think would be fun), or nannying. So we'll see. I just pray I can find something.. cause I'll need the money if I want to be in Cali for the summer. I'm still a little uneasy about living in the house in Orange by myself.. so hopefully my family can come visit in intervals haha. or friends. and I might stay at my friend Brooke's house in Redondo Beach from time to time. It's closer to LA anyways. I'll be able to go on commercial auditions right away this summer, but I'm gonna take this acting class before going on TV and film auditions, those are more of a make or break it type of thing. so I need to be prepared. Pursuing acting has been an adventure so far and continues to be an unpredictable journey. You never know where life will take you, you might as well enjoy the ride and not get down when things don't turn out the way you planned because what's the fun in that? God opens doors and closes them. I'm just following the open doors so far. so we'll see.

"Welcome to LA. Welcome to the party."

- movie "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", Robert Downey Jr.

Green Tea/Chai Tea madness

So.. I think I'm addicted to everything involving tea...

Matcha Green Tea Blast from Jamba Juice. It's SO freaking delicious. I just got it for lunch today. I'm very addicted.

Iced green tea from Starbucks. SO good. I always have to get refills.

Chai Tea Luna bars. VERY yummy.

Iced Chai Tea latte from Starbucks. One of my all time favorite drinks.

Vanilla Chai Tea protein drink. It's a new addiction this year. I try to not drink this all in one day when I get it, but that can be VERY difficult sometimes.

Yup, this is the stuff I drink/eat... I've noticed a definite trend. Well what can I say.. the heart wants what the heart wants.